Saturday, September 20, 2008

I've been slacking off as of late, and I have no good excuse. I've been too wrapped up in my own ventures (all pretty much pointless) to devote the time that my ever-expanding list of Man Crushes deserves. My devotion to them was supposed to be shown here in all of it's splender by way of a monthly essay describing a crush and why he was to receive the honor of Man Crush of the Month. I haven't done one since May of this year, and even that one (Sidney Crosby and every Pittsburgh Penguin) showed my acute distraction--I couldn't even narrow it down to one guy, so I sloppily rambled about an entire franchise sports team that consists largely of Canadian men.

I've basically smacked the ideal of the Man Crush in the mouth, and for that I must repent, and I've decided to do that with the biggest and most epic Man Crush event of all time. (Bigger than a David Hasselhoff music video.) This is what's going to happen: I will conduct a study of worthy men who could theoretically achieve Man Crush status. I figure the best way to do that is to have people tell me who their Man Crushes are, and I will document them. My e-mail address is, and my instant messaging screen name is smpbball23. You can throw me your votes right there, and none will go unheeded. From these votes, I will randomly assemble a bracket laden with chest hair, metrosexuality, and mustaches, and there will be a fucking showdown. If you're lost, just think of the March Madness basketball tournament. It will work that way; I'm even considering doing pre-tournament rankings, but I haven't thought out a way to completely make that work as of yet.

Hopefully, by the end of this, we will be able to have a man crush of the year. It's going to be a difficult process, because a Man Crush is a very subjective thing. Everyone has different ones, depending on personal taste, hobbies and interests. For example, I'm sure someone out there is crushing on Bob Costas. This is because some people are douchebags. But, that's just my opinion, you see? So, keep in mind that the Man Crush of the Year may not be your favorite man crush, but you will certainly have a say in it. That's why you have to rock the vote. This will be kind of a warm-up for the Presidential election in November, but I'm pretty confident the Maverick won't be on our ballot or bracket.

Women, you can vote too. Maybe we'll do a Lady Crush thing someday soon.